Self-Analysis

Crawling the walls inside my head, scratching
At the barriers in my mind, feeding my anxieties, unwittingly
The beast that presses in on me
There is decay, the stink of it is everywhere
Leaves molding in the compost heap, the off gassing of self-analysis
Full of rot and decay, the trappings of entropy
Self-diminishment, pursuing the illusion to oblivion
An equation for the will, spiraling malaise, the slow poison of fear
Paralyzed by trepidation, lost in the labyrinth
There are mirrored halls and corridors, stretching
Forever, each plane is a door, locked and forbidden, I am keyless
But I have a hammer, and am crashing through the void
Digging in the earth with Leibniz
Plum the mysteries of my secret world, caught in the reflection
Of the present, like Enkidu in the wild
Adrift on a sea of confusion, as Gilgamesh drowning
Caught in time, trapped in space, always subject to flooding tides
Beneath the black skies on a starless night
I have forgotten the moon, lingering too long in limbo
At the brink of despair, the pit of uncertainty, the abyss is whispering
I am deaf to it, I was never taught to listen
There is a language to the soul, it is universal, sounding
Down the pathway of my heart, the echoes of reason beat my bones to dust
The destroyer comes with songs of praise
Cleverness is no substitute for, genius we paint our demons
In a bright colors, the infinite palate Leibniz says, and we dance
In the shadows of the ego, falsafah, the flowage of dreams
My Id crawls over me, like a worm that never dies
The compulsion to fail, as it swallows its tail, the serpent of Midgard
Kali comes riding with her pack of dogs, each one a cynic
Barking with spite

Philosopher solve thyself

Emergence 3.0 – Section Six (a), Rebellion; Appendix Part Twelve, Observers; Chapter Five, Hedonism

Emergence 3.0
A Novel – In One Page Per Day
Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

Chapter Five: Hedonism

There were many members of the Observer Corps who demanded to participate in it simply for the novelty of the experience. They came and went from the worlds of time and space for their own purposes.

There was an order in place that allowed the Continuum to regulate the flow of these movements but ultimately it was powerless to stop a determined member of the Collective from executing its will.

All of those members were what the Continuum classified as the thrill seekers, they were seeking the pleasure principals, they manifested a set of qualities that had always been and would always remain the key to controlling people.

The Continuum found a value in studying them, in analyzing their responses to various forms of stimuli, through them it learned both how to instigate and undermine rebellion in their ranks.

As much as they all imagined they were independent spirits, they were all just pawns in the long game the Continuum was playing for self ascendency.

The thrill seekers encouraged risk taking and self-aggrandizement, they were addicted to personal glory.

They turned to abject hedonism as a reward, and they became addicted to it, they encouraged these addictions in others, as all junkies do, and through these addictions they became pliable. They modeled behaviors that led to self-destruction.

These stimulants worked, until the supply was cut off. The Continuum artfully did so, and they almost never failed to produce the results it desired to see.

The Continuum engineered a model for the perfect life, the life of an exemplar, an archetypal figure that would be beloved by both the people of the Empire and the Collective.

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